4 September 2025
Boundaries: The leadership skill that stops you from imploding
By
Kate Hill
As a leader, you’re constantly navigating competing priorities, managing expectations, and juggling responsibilities. And it’s easy to fall into a trap that’s both invisible and exhausting: poor boundaries.
In this blog, I’m discussing what boundaries really are, why so many leaders struggle to set them, and how to start drawing the line — kindly, clearly, and consistently.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are simply the invisible lines you draw to protect your time, energy and wellbeing.
They help you decide:
What’s okay and what’s not
What you’ll take on and what you won’t
How you’ll be spoken to
What your work hours are
Where your responsibilities begin and end
They’re not about shutting people out. They’re agreements - with yourself and with others - about what you need in order to lead effectively and sustainably.
Why we struggle with boundaries
Boundaries sound simple - but in practice, they’re anything but.
Why? Because we’re human. And humans crave connection, approval, and a sense of usefulness.
Here are just a few of the reasons leaders struggle:
Fear of conflict or being seen as “difficult”
A desire to be liked or needed
Pressure to prove capability and reliability
Job insecurity or lack of confidence
Habitual people-pleasing
Cultural norms that praise overwork and sacrifice
All understandable. But none are good reasons to keep eroding your own energy and effectiveness.
The cost of weak boundaries
When you don’t have clear boundaries, the impact isn’t just internal - it ripples outwards.
You may experience:
Overcommitment
Resentment or frustration
Missed deadlines
Emotional exhaustion
Stress and anxiety
Reputational risk from dropped balls
Teams who feel unclear or unsupported
And over time? You lose confidence in your ability to lead — and your team loses confidence in you.
Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re strategic.
The benefits of healthy boundaries
When you learn to protect your time and energy, the shift is tangible.
With strong boundaries in place, you’ll notice:
Better time management
Clearer priorities
More focus and flow
Honest, open communication
A stronger sense of identity at work
Sustainable energy and creativity
And most importantly, you model good leadership. You show others it’s not only okay to have boundaries; it’s essential.
How to set boundaries (and actually keep them)
There are three essential steps:
1. Define your boundaries
Start by asking:
Where do I feel stretched, stressed or resentful?
What drains me most?
What’s non-negotiable for me to function well?
You might realise the issue isn’t just the late-night messages — it’s the pressure to respond. Or not the meeting invite, but the assumption you’ll always say yes.
▶️ Start with one or two boundaries that would make the biggest difference.
2. Communicate your boundaries
A boundary isn’t a boundary until it’s communicated. Until then, it’s just a hope.
Try these examples:
Time: “I’m available for meetings between 10 and 4. Outside that is focus time.”
Tasks: “I’m currently prioritising X and Y — which one should I pause if I take this on?”
Tone: “Let’s keep the conversation respectful. I want to understand your concerns.”
Clarity: “Can we confirm how this fits into my current responsibilities?”
Clear. Calm. Kind.
3. Maintain them consistently
Here’s the hard bit.
Because people will test boundaries - not always intentionally, but because of habit or unspoken expectations. And if you bend every time?
You’re training people to ignore your boundaries.
If you respond to every message at 9pm, or say yes then silently fume, you’re not holding a boundary. You’re outsourcing resentment.
Boundaries only work when they’re upheld consistently - not just when you’re at breaking point.
Boundaries and people-pleasing
I find this is one of the biggest boundary blockers: people-pleasing.
It’s surprisingly common in leadership, because many leaders:
Are naturally helpful
Pride themselves on being reliable
Are terrified of letting others down
Have been rewarded since school for going the extra mile
But over time, people-pleasing leads to:
Saying yes when you mean no
Taking on too much
Neglecting your own goals
Feeling resentful but staying silent
Smiling through burnout
It might look like commitment. But often, it’s a fear of discomfort - of being perceived as unkind, difficult or unreliable.
So ask yourself: Who’s paying the price for your avoidance of discomfort?
Chances are, it’s you. And your team. Because when you’re stretched thin, reactive and resentful - you can’t lead well.
How to start un-pleasing people
If this resonates, try this five-step mini-strategy:
1. Name the pattern
“I’m saying yes to be liked - not because I actually have the bandwidth.”
2. Reframe the belief
“Saying no isn’t rude or unhelpful. It’s clear, kind and responsible.”
3. Practise saying no lightly
“I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity this week.”
“I can’t commit to that right now - could we revisit it next month?”
4. Let go of the reaction
Not everyone will love your new boundary. That’s okay. It’s not your job to manage their emotions - only your own integrity.
5. Celebrate the win
Every time you uphold a boundary, you’re building stronger leadership habits.
Leadership boundaries set the tone
Boundaries matter at every level - but as a leader, they’re amplified.
If you’re sending midnight emails, cancelling one-to-ones or constantly picking up other people’s work, you’re silently signalling:
Exhaustion is the standard
Boundaries don’t matter
Priorities are unclear
Instead, strong leadership boundaries look like:
Clear, consistent communication
Saying no to protect focus
Modelling healthy work rhythms
Encouraging your team to protect their time
Making expectations unambiguous
When you lead with boundaries, you lead with clarity - and that builds trust.
What you can try this week
You don’t need to overhaul everything. Start small:
1. Audit your yeses
Look back at the week. Where did you say yes too quickly or out of obligation? What would you change?
2. Pick one new boundary
Choose one manageable shift - and share it. Make it real.
3. Practise one phrase
Write it down. Say it aloud. Use it when needed.
“That won’t work for me right now.”
“Let me get back to you once I’ve checked my capacity.”
Leading with boundaries
Boundaries are the difference between feeling frazzled and feeling focused.
They’re not about saying no to everything - they’re about saying yes to the right things.
The most effective leaders aren’t the most available. They’re the most intentional.
So start small. Start clear. And start now.
Your energy, your team and your impact will thank you for it.
If you’re ready to strengthen your leadership, set clearer boundaries, and lead with more clarity and confidence, I can help. Explore one-to-one coaching, group programmes and leadership development support at waterfallhill.co.uk/services.
Listen to the How to Lead podcast episode on boundaries wherever you get your podcasts.
