Accidental Managers

ccidental managers what to do when you've maybe been thrown in at the deep end. This is what we'll be talking about today on how to lead the podcast for CEOs, founders, and leaders who want the perfect balance of authority and empathy. I'm Kate Waterfall Hill, and I'll be sharing some ideas from over 30 years of working in business and leadership development.

Don't forget to check out my free resources, my book, How to Lead, and the range of one-to-one, group and team coaching services that I offer at waterfallhill.co uk. Today we're diving into a topic that describes the vast majority of the managers that I've coached, whether or not they admit it.

Accidental manager, you know the type, maybe you are the type you are great at your job, so someone said, why don't you manage a team of people and they gave you no training, no guidance, just a new title, a team, and a vague hope that you'd figure it out. Or maybe you started your own business, focused on your passion, your interest, your expertise, only to find that you also had to be a CEO, and nobody warned you about that bit. If it all sounds familiar, you're not alone. In fact, you're the norm. But actually being an accidental manager doesn't mean you have to stay an unprepared one.

let's start as ever with Linda, the bad manager, my alter ego, and see what she has to say about management.

“I've just promoted Sanjay. Yeah. Brilliant. Is his job. Yeah. Real go-getter. Yeah. No prior leadership experience. No, but how hard can it be? I haven't given him any training. Obviously that would just confuse him better just to throw him in and see what floats. It's what we call organic growth. He is struggling a bit.

Apparently the team is stressed. Projects are slipping. Alice was found crying in the lose after the team meet. It's a classic early leadership wobble. I've told him to step up, you know, just be more assertive. Lead from the front. That's what I did. Look at me now. If it doesn't work out, I suppose we'll have to performance manage him, which is a shame.

But you know, not everyone's cut out for leadership, are they? I don't think he was particularly after a leadership job actually. Come to think of it, but there you go. Lucky Sanjay.”

There is Linda at it again, but not quite making the mark. Let's talk about what accidental managers actually need and how to make the shift from overwhelmed to intentional. First of all, what is an accidental manager?

The phrase comes from the Chartered Management Institute, and they define accidental managers as people who've been promoted into leadership without any formal management, training or support. They estimate that four out of five UK managers fall into this category, and it happens across every industry.

The top performing sales person becomes sales manager. The star nurse becomes ward manager. The brilliant developer is now the tech lead and just like that their job is no longer about doing the work, it's about getting it done through others, and that is a completely different skillset.

So why is this a bit of a problem, and also why is it not your fault? Let's be clear. Being an accidental manager isn't a personal failing. It's a structural one. Most organizations reward individual performance with promotion, but they don't equip you for what comes next. Suddenly, you're expected to manage performance, hold one-to-ones, run meetings, handle conflict, motivate others, manage upwards and things strategically, all the while still doing parts or even all of your original old job. No wonder why so many managers feel like they're winging it.

So if you've ever thought, I've got no idea what I'm doing, why is this so much harder than it looks? I used to be great at my job and now I'm just stressed and behind all the time. I don't believe that's necessarily imposter syndrome. It's a phrase that lots of people use, but it might well be that it's just you being under supported in a whole new role. and you might find yourself falling into these common pitfalls because if no one teaches you how to lead, here's what usually happens.

First of all, you keep doing your old job. It's faster to do it yourself. You don't want to overload the team, but now you're drowning and they're disengaged. Secondly, you avoid difficult conversations because you want to be liked, you don't want to make things worse, so you stay quiet and resentment builds. You second guess everything.

You don’t know what good management looks like, so you try to please everyone and end up pleasing no one. You also chase harmony, not clarity. because it's sometimes a bit scary to set expectations or hold people accountable. it feels like that would make everyone happy, but then the results start slipping and then nobody's happy. And we also tend to lead how we were led, and sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes it's a terrible idea dressed up as this is just how it's done. You don't necessarily want to keep perpetuating the same style of leadership that you've experienced.

What great managers do is flip the script and be intentional about their leadership. So you set clear expectations. People, generally speaking, want to do well, but they need to know what good looks like. Also, coach don't just correct. So instead of jumping in with solutions or telling people off, ask questions.

Help people to think for themselves. Give regular feedback, not just informal reviews. Do it often. Do it kindly. Do it directly. But do it about what matters. Don't give people a whole great big shopping list of things that you want them to correct or change. just have a conversation about what you've noticed and what they might do Even better, then hold boundaries for your team and yourself.

Overwork is not a leadership badge of honour. Delegate properly. Not let me know if you need anything or come and find me if you've got any questions. Be clear. Here's what success looks like. Here's your level of authority. Let's check in on Friday and then invest in your own development. Because leadership is a skill.

It can be learned, but only if you take it seriously and spend some time focusing on it, reflecting on it, making a plan and acting on it. If you want to start becoming the manager that perhaps you wish you'd had, there is some good news.

You don't need a fancy MBA to become a brilliant leader, but you do need to be deliberate. And here's where to start. So acknowledge the shift. Stop trying to be the hero, individual contributor, and the leader. They are different roles. So you need to choose your value now comes from making other people better, not from doing everything yourself.

Okay. Next, clarify your role. Ask yourself, what are the three most important things only you can do in this role? What's taking up your time that someone else could handle? Who do you need to influence above, beside and below you? If you don't have a job description, I suggest you write one and make sure it includes leading, not just deliver.

Then build relationships, not just rapport, don't try and be friends with everybody. It's tempting to try and stay one of the team, particularly if you were promoted internally. but leadership means having different conversations.

You can be friendly without being avoidant. Empathetic, without overstepping clear, without being cold. Really focus on trust, respect, and psychological safety, not just being liked, and start by giving feedback early and often. Most new managers wait way too long to give feedback, and then they panic because things don't improve.

So start small. That report was really clear. Great job with the summary. I notice you've been quieter in meetings. How's everything going? Feedback should be a habit and regular all the time, not a big annual event. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You are allowed to not know. So ask your manager, what does good look like in this role?

What are your expectations of me? What support is available for leadership development? And ask your team, what's one thing I could do better? As a manager, ask yourself, what do I need to learn next? There is strength in that kind of honesty. And don't wait to feel confident because confidence doesn't come first.

Action does. You learn to lead by leading probably a bit badly at first, but then better, and then better again. Give yourself permission to be work in progress. No one becomes a brilliant manager overnight just because they've been given a new title. And if you manage accidental managers, this one's for you.

So if you're a founder, a director, a senior leader, and you've got first time managers in your business, please do support them. Please don't do what most organizations do. Promote someone on Friday and expect them to be fully formed leader by Monday, and then blame them for not being strategic enough.

So it's your job as a senior leader to give these new managers clarity, training, coaching, dare I say, and permission to grow. And your organization will Thank you for it. What you can do this week if you are an accidental manager or if you are supporting one. Here's a list. Reflect what's been your biggest challenge in leading others.

Spending time, noticing what's tricky can often lead to solutions. Then schedule a one-to-one, pick one person. And have a proper check-in. Ask what's going well and what they need more of from you, and then give one piece of feedback, something positive or developmental. Just say it out loud. Just try it and you can say, I'm trying something new.

I'd love some feedback from you. Then set one boundary. Maybe leave on time. Say no to one task. Block space to think. Do one thing to develop yourself. Maybe listen to a few more episodes of this podcast or sign up to a course or read a chapter of a leadership book or things you can find at waterfallhill.co.uk.

But you don't have to change everything at once, but you do have to start take some action, and even taking the action will help you feel more positive and confident. So if you've landed in management without a map, you're not alone. You're completely normal and you're not broken, but you do have a choice.

You can stay in this survival mode doing way too much, doubting yourself and hoping it'll get easier. Or you can take ownership, learn the skills, have the awkward conversations, and go and get the support you need. Because leadership isn't about being perfect. It's about being intentional and consistent and human.

And if you do that, you'll be miles ahead of where you started. And dare I say, miles ahead of most other managers and leaders, especially Linda, the bad manager. So that's all for today's episode of How to Lead. Until next time. Remember, the best way to avoid being like Linda, the bad manager, is to lead with clarity, care, and curiosity.

If you've enjoyed this episode, do follow for more leadership insights. And if you'd like my personal support, take a look at my website, waterfall hill.co.uk, and you'll find more information about all my coaching programs and my free resources and my book. There's never a better time to take your professional development seriously than right now.

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